I have the hiccups...17:40 Feb 27 2008
Times Read: 708
And I hate them. They suck.
But on a happier note (at least for me) I colored my hair bright black last night and managed to NOT walk away with dalmation spots!! Amazing, ¿no? Hm... I'd have to say yes...
There was a really bad storm yesterday. Poor central FL got its ass handed to it. Lets put it this way. Iseult (here on the rave) and I went to FBCO (First Baptist Oviedo) to watch Dead Silence. Actually, we snuck into the old sanctuary's balcony and sat in the cubby hole of one of the windows and ate while watching the movie. When we got there, it was partly cloudy, but nice. 2 hours later, it was completely overcast in that "I'm a pretty overcast day that really belongs in the fall" kind of way. 15 min later, at the cemetery on Alexandria, dark clouds started making a small apperence. We took a few pics and went to the other cemetery on Chapman (b/c you all know where Alexandria and Chapman are...). Things started getting pretty bad at Chapman Cemetery. OH!! And we were riding in Iseult's pretty apple red (or cherry apple as we called it yesterday) convertible. So... we left Chap to go to her old house to switch out the cars so that she wouldn't get drenched before heading over to her night class. Her old house was like 7 min away from there (probably 5 if there weren't any stop lights.
Once stoped at the intersection of Red Bug/Mitchell Hammock and Aloma, we realized we weren't going to make it to her house dry. So, we put the top up. Not a min later did it start raining. The wind kicked up really quickly too.
Hm..... Bad storm.... Very bad...
Now, it's cold as fuck, where as yesterday it was nice and warm.
And I realize that the other paragraph could probably be broken down into about 2 paragraphs, but my fingers found that to be too much work.
I'll title you later.04:41 Feb 25 2008
Times Read: 711
So, I've spent the last 2 hours downloading music. Why? B/c it's all music that makes up the soundtracks to characters from a favie book series of mine. Such freaking great songs!! I'm excited! Lol. The 6th book comes out on Tuesday, but you won't find me rushing to the bookstore to get it. I pre-ordered mine like a month ago. Lol. I'm totally on top of things.
I've decided on the colors I want for my hair. Bright black and very rich auburn. My hair's gonna look AMAZING!! I'm probably gonna do the black tomorrow, but I dunno if I'm gonna do the red at that time, too. Maybe. I have to use a frosting cap thing to do the red, so... we'll see.
It always amazes me how people who don't know me and who've never really had a meaningful conversation with me find it necessary to view my page multiple times a day. I mean, I think I know why they do it, but it's still... I dunno... weird. These are people I have absolutely no problem with. Er... well, ok, yeah I do, but it's only one problem and I can easily get over it. But still... I'm pretty sure I'm on their shit list, and it sucks the big one. I hate it when people who've never really met me in any way feel like they have a good enough reason to hate me.
Whatev.
I have a confession. I've been a bad girl. I've started a habbit that's really REALLY bad for my health. I didn't mean to, but I was craving it soooo badly yesterday and I couldn't help myself. I already said I'd stop after this first pack I bought. Hopefully, I'll be able to.
Anyways, I'm off to do something just as insignificant somewhere else.
Uh-oh...22:17 Feb 23 2008
Times Read: 717
I've been left to my thoughts again. That's usually not a good sign (though, at times, beautiful poetry comes from it...). I often lay awake at night in my bed thinking. Or sitting at my desk and discovering, then thinking. Or dreaming, then thinking.
I've heard the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" many times in life. I believe it's true, too. And I thought I had been living my life that way. But what if more absence is needed? What if the unhappiness in my life and in the lives of others is a relsult of there being too much?
I know that at times I come off as clingy. I'm not. I have my own life and I love it. But yes, if I'm with you and I know no one else, I'm going to stick with you. If I visit you and know no one else, I'm going to stick with you, b/c you're all I know. If we lived together, then I wouldn't be so 'clingy'. I'd have things to do. I'd have other friends. I'd have a life somewhat separated from you.
I'm a very independant woman, but I'm also very shy. Most of the times you won't know what's going on in my head, b/c I'm afraid to let you know for fear of some sort of rejection. Or from fear of losing you. I'm independant, but I like lots of reasurance. I like knowing that what I'm doing is right. I like knowing that I'm loved. I like knowing that I'm beautiful. I like being told these things. Not always. But a random "I love you" speaks volumes. A random hug, kiss, compliment. They all mean the world to me. And somehow, I always seems to have to fish for them, which makes me feel like it's not actually coming from the heart, just from pity or something similar.
I like having meaningful conversations. They don't always have to be intelectual. I just like getting to know you better. I like discovering new aspects of you. New chapters of you. It excites me. It makes me feel important. I like laughing. I like hearing you laugh. I like hearing stories, and I like my stories to be heard and appreciated in return.
I want to be valuable to you. I want to you value the love I have for you. Our friendship.
I have so many questions stored up in my head, but I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid of the answers to some, and afraid you'll get annoyied if I ask others.
I know what the future holds in store for me. At the very least, I know I'll have someone to live for besides myself. I know that I'll be in the lives of many people I love for a very long time, and in the lives of people I will grow to love like family. I know all these things. But that's the future. I want to know what's going to happen to me now. I want to know so many things.
Patience is a vertue, and God knows I have a lot of it. What's more is that I'm hopefully teaching patience to others.
*sighs* I know this was a random journal entry, and I'm sorry if I've wasted your time, but I had to get this out. It's not off my chest yet because I can't let go that easily, but at least it's out in the open for all to see.
So, she's playing games again, huh?17:35 Feb 23 2008
Times Read: 719
Freaking bitch. She always does this kind of shit. She either needs to leave me the fuck alone, or finish what she started.
Stupid fucking muse of mine. Effing A. She throws a few good poetic lines into my head and nags me until I write them down. Then, when I do, she just kind of develops a case of ADD and finds something else to do.
Mer.... I probably shouldn't talk so badly about her... Last time I did, she left me for like a year and a half.
*nervous laughter*
Love you, Dreamz!!
The perfect way to end a night.08:45 Feb 22 2008
Times Read: 722
I just got back from a friends house. It's 3:37 am. My eyes are dead (they have been for the past 2 days...). My allergies are running wild.
Two of my gal pals and I watched anime. Pardise Kiss, mostly. Ok, ok. So my friends watched Pardise Kiss. I slept on the couch. Lol. What?? My sneezing fits took a lot out of me. But, in all fairness, I'd already seen the first two disks (there's only 3) and I fell asleep at the end of the first one. We were all high on yummy food and sunkist. Honestly, I have a feeling that getting high off of food and soda and good times is far more fun than getting high off of drugs. I've never done drugs (yes, there's quite a few college students out there who haven't) and I never will. I find natural highs much more enjoyable (at least, that's my theory)
Zomg, I'm fucking SLEEPY!! But I still have to clear off my bed. Damn it. I hate doing laundry for this fucking reason! It doesn't put itself away when it's done. You have to do it yourself. Fucking fuck. I wish I was Harry Potter right about now. I'd fucking wave my wand and BAM! Everything would be put away and pretty.
OH! And a note to all of you.... Pay attention when you're drinking soda. Make sure the can reaches your mouth before you tilt it, or you'll have a cold, wet, sticky crotch the rest of the night.
Not that I speak from experience or anything...
Red Bed Sheets00:00 Feb 22 2008
Times Read: 725
Yes, they're lovely, but they have nothing to do with anything right now. (Besides the fact that I sleep on them every night, and they match the blood red pillowcase on the body pillow where I keep a very comfy red Spider-Man t-shirt)
Anyways, my thoughts have pretty much being going in every single direction today. Censoring myself on here is going to be very difficult. (Not that it hasn't already been difficult these past few God knows how long.) I went job hunting again today. Yay!! I applied at two different Vet offices. God, I hope and pray that I get a job at either one b/c I REALLY need the money BADLY! I'm a poor starving college student. Almost quite literally.
I looked at apartments today too. Apparently two of my friends may not be staying here to go to college for much longer, so if that's the case, then I'm just going to move out on my own. I saw this AMAZING apartment today. Not bad pricing, either. I mean, the pet deposit is a bit steep, but I think I can manage. Esp. since dad's supposed to kinda help me out with shit like that (part of college expenses, after all.) Its a loft, and totally cozy. I love it.
You know, I've only ever experienced being 'on my own' twice, but I never had to worry about bills or anything like that. (When I say, 'on my own' I mean, I didn't have my parents there with me. One time was when dad was sick in the hospital for a while and I was home alone for a few days. The other time was WAY more fun.) Thinking about moving out into my own place and having to pay the bills on my own is a bit scary. I mean, it's exciting, dont get me wrong, but still...
I'm looking forward to being able to have whoever I want over at my place whenever I want. I'm looking forward to letting mom know this little secret I've been hiding from her for almost a year know. I'm looking forward to lots of things.
It's nice to have the freedom to spread your wings and go where you want to. I like the feeling alot.
So...16:28 Feb 21 2008
Times Read: 730
I'm in class. We're learning about poetry. Actually, we're learning about how to analyze poetry. Geh... Give me a dark poem any day of the week. They're really easy to analyze. Lol. And, they seem to be the most beautiful ones of the bunches.
I should probably be paying attention, but all that's on my mind food. And the fact that I have to pee. And my eyes hurt.
Gep.
I saw the lunar eclipse last night. BEAUTIFUL!! It looked like a different planet. God! I love that kind of beauty. Not sure what kind of beauty it is, exactly, but I love it!
My car loves me again. So does the CD player inside of it. Yay! Lol.
Hm... I was sure I had more to say, but it seems as though I don't. I'll probably journal later.
You know you're in college when...
22:23 Feb 20 2008
Times Read: 733
You know you're in college when...
1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early."
2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.
3. Weekends start on Thursday. No... Wednesday.
4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.
7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.
8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.
9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.
10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.
11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.
12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.
13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.
14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.
16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.
17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.
18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.
19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.
20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.
21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.
22. You go to Target or WalMart more than 3 times a week.
23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.
24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.
25. Quarters are like gold.
26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.
27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...
29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.
30. You ask people what YOU did last night.
31. Certain things are now deemed "facebook worthy." When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.
32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.
33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
34. You sleep more in class than in your room
35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.
36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.
37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.
38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.
39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.
40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.
41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).
42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.
43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.
44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.
45. Going to the library is a social event.
46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.
47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.
49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.
50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.
51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.
52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.
53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.
54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.
56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.
57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.
58. Most of your T.A.s are foreign...what's the deal?
59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
60. You never realized so many people are more dumb (aka "dumber") than you.
61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.
62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.
63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.
64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.
65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.
66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
67. Two words: bike cops.
68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.
69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.
70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.
71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.
72. You've paid bills over $5... in coins.
73. You can't imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ ipod.
74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "dressy" at certain occasions... like school.
75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.
76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.
77. Your professors speak English... as a second language.
78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.
79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.
80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they're free.
81. Betta fish are like your family.
82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.
83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing...
84. The elevators take forever but you'll wait 10 minutes just so you don't have to climb stairs.
85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they're standing 5 feet away from the door.
86. Showers become more of an issue.
87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.
88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.
89. Class size doubles on exam days.
90. You donate plasma even though you know it's pretty sketchy.
91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.
92. You've bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you're too broke.
93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.
94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it's too cold to walk home.
95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.
96. There's always a "question kid" in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.
97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don't have to wash your own.
98. Laundry is an all-day event.
99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.
100. It's illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.
101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.
102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.
103. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.
104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.
105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.
106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.
107. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.
108. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.
109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.
110. You eventually realize that setting your clock ahead makes no difference to you and you're still late.
111. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.
112. You text faster than you type.
113. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.
114. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.
115. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.
116. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.
117. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”
118. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.
119. The words "google" and "wikipedia" have become verbs. And you use them... quite often.
120. The names Morgan, Jim, Jack, and Jose could aptly describe either who you were with last night or what you had to drink.
121. You fill your empty two-liter bottles with pop from the school cafeteria.
122. You have a drinking buddy who can hold the most intellectual, deep conversations when drunk. Unfortunately, neither he/she nor you can remember most of it later.
123. Your floor has been dirty to the point that you've had to brush your feet off before putting on socks or getting into bed.
124. You're all for the free samples at grocery stores.
125. Energy drinks become your new best friends.
126. You realize that taking summer classes pretty much negates the fun connotation of "summer."
127. You know exactly how much food will fit into a mini-fridge.
128. You realize that said mini-fridge does NOT freeze ice cream.
129. You've made a sandwich on or eaten food off of your $1500 laptop.
130. Your scar stories involve alcohol and/or hearing what happened to you from your more sober friends.
131. It is completely acceptable... and encouraged... to party on weeknights. What would life be without Wasted Wednesdays or Thirsty Thursdays?
132. Most of your textbooks remain unopened (possibly still shrink-wrapped) the entire semester.
133. Waking up in the morning and driving somewhere to get a friend's (or your) car becomes a norm.
134. The local supermarket sells ping pong balls... right next to solo red cups. Coincidence?
135. You go home for winter/summer break and suddenly your life back at college seems so exciting...
136. You smell the clear liquid in your water bottle before you drink it... just to make sure it's actually water.
137. You discover new bruises on your body and wonder where the hell they came from.
138. You find alternate routes to class in order to avoid annoying organization booths and/or the preacher on campus.
139. Two (more) words: Power Hour.
140. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.
So, I missed out on school today...20:23 Feb 20 2008
Times Read: 734
Because my stupid car wouldn't start!! I mean, what the hell?! Yesterday, I says "no" to playing any of my CD's, and today (after I payed so much freaking attention to it yesterday by cleaning it out and making it look all pretty inside) it won't start. I think I might just want to kick it right about now. *glares*
I missed class b/c of it, too... I mean, I wasn't giong to do anything in class today. I already presented my speech, but I didn't want to waste a 'sick' day on my stupid car!! *glares* Effing A. Whatev. I got nothing accomplished today, that's all that counts.
That didn't come out right...
My left ear has been clogged for about a week and a half now. It's annoying as all hell. I can hardly hear ANYTHING out of my left ear. Retarded much? Hm, yes, I think so.
It feels almost like it did a year ago, only there's something missing. I know what that something is, but still. I'm a year older now, but it stil pretty much feels the same. I'm dying to get a tan, but I know that doing so will leave me extremely sick. I'm dying to do certain things and see certain people, but I know I won't be able to for a while.
I'm becoming rather impatient.
A blog about today.23:13 Feb 19 2008
Times Read: 738
So... I woke up at 7-something, air dried on my bed while watching VH1 (I was far too sleepy to manually dry myself), and got ready for another day in college. I ate my usual waffles, then, as I was brushing the nots out of my hair, my mother announced from across the house that Fidel Castro (the asshole dictator that fucked Cuba up) finally resigned. I'm sure there was MUCH rejoicing in Little Cuba (AKA Miami). Damn, I wish I were there to celebrate. This was amazing news. Maybe now I can visit the country where my roots come from.
Unfortunately, it looks as though his brother is going to take over. Geh... *sigh* whatever. I only promised myself that I wouldn't go to Cuba while Castro was in power. Now he's not, so I'll be going there eventually.
So.... I finally got off my lazy Cuban ass and cleaned my rapist van. It's fucking SPOTLESS! It's amazing. There isn't wood on the floor anymore, no more random clothes. It's pretty. Or, at least as pretty as a rapist van can get. Lol. It took me like an hour and a half. Getting the seats back in were the hardest of the chores.
Anyways, now I'm watching Reba, surfing the net, hoping for a call, and enjoying not having homework tonight.
Yay!
Completely tired17:11 Feb 18 2008
Times Read: 741
*stretches and yawns* So... I'm back from my weekend trip to Miami. Oh God... I had to pack up my entire room at dads and move it into the new house. I didn't realize I had so much shit. Seriously! Wtf was up with all the dead batteries I found floating around the room?? Ugh... And I love the new house with the two stories, but damn... moving shit up and down the stairs was a BITCH. I think that if and when we do eventually move out, I'll just chuck my shit over the banister and to hell with it! Lol. I was also in a pretty pissy mood all weekend too, though I'm better now.
Now, the new house is somewhat smaller than our old one, but it's still fairly big. My bedroom is smaller, though, which means that I had to find a new location for a few things.... Like my stuffed animals. They used to be in a corner of my room, chilling. Now, they're in my clothset, on the floor. It's kind of creepy looking at them and haveing them stairing back at you from the room. Eff that, ok? Efff. With a capital EFFF. Lol.
The train ride back home was rather uneventful. I spent an hour of it on the phone, yay, and the rest of it listening to my iPod. Sleeping on the train isn't exactly fun, either. You can't get as comfy as you want, but you do what you must.
Now I'm back in my room at moms, and I'm not sure if I'm sleepy or just bored. Probably both. Oh well. I gave my speech today and I think I rocked it. I have something to read for english, but I can't remember if we had to write anything for it, or not. Gehhh... Stupid. Whatev. I'm gonna go take a small nap, possibly make a phone call, and just chill out.
Laterz!
Valentine's day05:51 Feb 15 2008
Times Read: 745
God, it was horrible. Honestly. I fucking hate the holiday (though I'm not opposed to couples donig small 'I love you' favors for one another). I didn't really get what I wanted, but I did manage to have a bit of fun with my girls at the school v-day dance. Lol. It was interesting. It was a college dance. OMG! There was this guy there who was totally creepy. I'll write more about it later, or perhaps tomorrow, when I'm not so tired.
Yes... I looked great. All gothed out, and no one to hold me, look me in the eye, and tell me they love me. *sighs* I was wearing a black skirt, black skin tight boots, and my best friend's corset top (which, by the end of the night, made me light headed to wear. Lol.) Ag.....fucking stupid v-day. Fucking fuck.
I'm going to go pout myself to bed and sleep now. Good night.
Things get better...12:31 Feb 14 2008
Times Read: 746
That's what my mom told me this morning after she wished me a happy Valentine's Day.
Well, God, I hope so.
I always find myself extremely lonely, depressed, and alone on this day, regardless of if I'm in a relationship or not.
Then my mom told me I'm a dissapointment.
Because that's supposed to make me feel better...
Fuck it.
Insecure.18:17 Feb 12 2008
Times Read: 755
I look around and wonder. I look at them and know. I can’t compare to them. I’m not anything out of the ordinary, and I’m rather dull. They’re beautiful and confident and I’m not. They have beautiful, full lips and perfect complexions. I don’t. I’m pale, I have a free spirit, I speak my mind regardless of what others think, and I’m far from confident.
Sure, I’ve been told I’m gorgeous, but I simply don’t see it. Or maybe, I just don’t feel it. There have been times before a special event where I feel as though I’m stunning. But that doesn’t happen often. And I don’t think I have natural beauty in the least. I can’t just wake up in the morning and look amazing. I’m not built that way. I look like pure shit. I’m surprised he even finds me remotely attractive sometimes. He’s so attractive, and he stands out so much. Why does he love someone who blends in? I’m not thin. I don’t have a perfect body. I have many flaws.
I’m afraid I’ll loose him to someone who stands out so much more than I do. I’m afraid I’ll loose him to one of his exes. What happens then? Will I just be thrown back into the bowl of mundane looks? I pray everyday that I don’t loose him.
I’m just so insecure. What if I don't make the cut? What if he sees just how plane I really am? What if I'm not good enough? What if I've already lost?
Grrrr.... I hate being insecure.
Arg-bleh19:29 Feb 10 2008
Times Read: 756
So, it's 2:14 pm, and I'm still at one of my best friends houses. Last night was fun. I went over to another friends house for her birthday party, then we all came on over here to play video games/watch others play video games. Dirty Scrabble and 7 Deadly Sins are two of the funnest games ever (as is Twister), though we didn't get very far on 7DS--we found watching friends play (and eventually beat) Heavenly Sword much more interesting. Heh... the PS3 is pretty. Lol. I totally want one. I probably won't get one till the PS4 comes out, as is how my life seems to work. Or at least, I won't be getting one for a few years... Or until I win lotto, which ever comes first. But seeing as I don't play lotto... yeah...
So, I'm actually still tired. I took a short nap from 4am to 6am, went upstairs and crawled into my best friends parent's California King size bed with her where I proceeded to attempt to get a little bit of the covers she was hogging. I felt like I was elsewhere again. Lol. Dude... that bed is MASSIVE!! Like, you can get lost in it. Needless to say that I slept on the extreme far left side of the bed and she on the extreme far right, so getting any covers was next to impossible. I also had a delicious dream. *remembers it* Hm... yes... It was nice.
But, yes, if I ever have a house with a master room big enough for one of those beds, I'm totally having one. And my man will sleep with me every night, b/c I won't sleep on such a huge bed alone. That would be far too lonely and I'd get lost in the covers and the bed would eat me. Yes. It would happen, and anyone who knows me would agree.
Merrrrrrrrrr SUN CHIPS!!!
What an empath is.21:57 Feb 09 2008
Times Read: 757
(Taken from the empath forum post)
Traits of an Empathy:
-most often poets
-often quiet
-take a while to handle compliments
-talk openly
-have problems talking abou their feelings
(to the contrary, they could be the exact opposite)
-seem ignorant
-may block everyones feelings
-they tend to openly feel what is around them, not inside of them
-usually non-violent, non agressive, leaning more towards to a peacemakers.
-mostly resent their lack of self-control
-sensitive to television, videos, movies, news, violence or emotional dramas
-sometimes may feel physically ill or choke back on tears or cry easily when they see anything emotional, unsettling or violent.
-have hard time comprehending humanities cruelty.
http://healing.about.com/cs/empathic/a/uc_empathtraits.htm
I really hate stpid, rude, and stubbornly ignorant people.15:12 Feb 09 2008
Times Read: 760
And what's sad is that you find so many of them, especially here on the VR. It's not even the stupid or stubborny ignorant part that pisses me off, it's the rudeness. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't fucking post it on the God damn forum. It's not fucking nice, and it makes you look like a bully, and last time I checked, very few of us here on the VR put up with bullies.
All I'm asking for is respect for others opinions. There is really no need to flame someone else for their opinions, and I'm finding a hell of alot of that going around lately.
Marriage and pregnancy07:44 Feb 05 2008
Times Read: 783
Is it just me, or is there a boom in engagements and pregnancies? Everywhere I look, someones either getting married (at a really REALLY young age) or pregnant!! WTF, man?! I know numerous people b/w 18 and 21 who are either engaged or pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them... mostly..., but I dunno... it just seems like they're so young!! I mean, yeah, when I was in 10th grade, I wanted to get married at age 18 just like my grandmothers did. Now I'm kinda hoping for 24-26.
Some people are just fucking going crazy with it, though. like, there's this girl I saw here on the rave who's 16 and engaged. I mean, chances are it's not going to last (I'm not wishing her ill, I'm just saying that statistically, it won't), but still. 16!! SIXTEEN!! At 16, I was worrying about what I was going to wear for homecoming week.
I'm not bashing these people, and I'm not saying that I'm not excused from ending up in either of these situations, it just seems like there's an epidempic; a phenomena, if you will.
There's my final rant of the day.
The Essence20:47 Feb 04 2008
Times Read: 789
Everybody has something that fuels them. For some, it's happiness. They are motivated to help others, have fun, be happy. For others, it's hate. They are motivated to harm others. I used to be someone motivated by happiness. I'm not saying I'm motivated to harm others, but sometimes, the thought crosses my mind and a smile graces my face. Am I horrible to feel this way?
I am hated by many. Mostly because of lies told to them, others out of loyalty. I'm an outcast within my own house, and I can't help but feel lost most of the time. Knowing that I am hated is not something I am used to. I am usually loved by everyone. Now I find myself at the very bottom of the totem pole. I watch as my brothers and sisters talk shit about me and take me for a fool. Sometimes I feel like I'm better than they are. Sometimes I wonder if I am. I know I'm still learning, but that's exactly where we differ. They are content with the little knowledge they have gained. I thirst for more.
I will not pretend that I don't hate. I do. But just one. I dislike many others. But where as the person I hate just has to deal with one person's hate, I have to deal with nearly an entire house's hate. Luckily I'm strong enough to be able to handle it. You push me down, I get back up. I will always get back up. I can't be broken. Not that way. Not again.
Call me a bitch. Call me a liar. Call me a whore, if it makes you feel better. I don't give a royal damn anymore. The hateful words of others stopped hurting me long ago. Actions hurt more, and innocent words hurt most.
Lilith08:05 Feb 04 2008
Times Read: 797
I was raised Southern Baptist. I went to church every Sunday. I was a very young bible thumper. My freshman year of high school is when I started doubting my, then, faith. Not only did I have family members and friends who were either bi or gay, but I considered myself to be bi. Along with that, I starting doubting what was being preached to me. You can only make it into heaven if you have Jesus in your heart. But according to the Southern Baptists, homosexuality is a sin [hence why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed]. But what about the homosexuals who were Christian and had Jesus in their heart? If you sin, you're not allowed into heaven unless you accept Jesus and repent of your sin. But homosexuality is a sin. Does that mean that all homosexuals are going to hell just because they are homosexual? The bible says to come to God just as you are. Yes... That was when I first started doubting.
I no longer consider myself Christian. I act more pagan than anything else, though I do still believe in God.
I was always told that the bible is the only book I could trust because there was not one single contradiction in it. It was actually preached from the pulpit by my former pastor. Where does Lilith come into play? I'll tell you.
I've only actually known about Lilith for about a year now. Somebody I trust with all my heart and soul opened my eyes to who she is. Honestly, I was skeptical at first. Did I believe what he told me? Undoubtedly...Well almost. At the time I was told, I still clung to the bible like it was my security blanket. After all, there were no contradictions within it, right?
Adam and Eve. The first couple. Or so we're lead to believe.
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."
(Gen. 1:26-27)
Did you miss my point? Here, lemme help you out...
"MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM."
So, the bible tells us, first, that man and woman were created at the same time. Why then, in chapter 2:19-22, did God create another woman? What happened to the first woman?
Lilith is described in Hebrew folklore as a demon [simply put].
I'm getting sleepy so I'll add to this later.
Something is not right...02:34 Feb 04 2008
Times Read: 799
And it's called sleep deprivation (or deactivation, as I called it one summer by accident) is really starting to get to me. Not only am I constantly tired, I'm also mood as hell. Any little thing sets me off. Last night while watching Where the Heart Is, I cried like a baby, not only at the sad parts, but at random parts that had nothing to do with any sort of emotion! I'm also jumping down people's throats a lot lately too. Not only that, but I get randomly dizzy and at times feel like I wanna puke. I freaking HATE that feeling. And I feel really badly for alcoholics. Why? B/c drinking too much makes you have to pee a lot more frequently (or so I've heard). I really feel you right about now. Anyone wanna trade bodies with me for a bit? Anyone? No...? Damn...
Ugh.... I'm craving something, but I don't know what it is. I think it might be Cheerios with chocolate milk, but I'm not 100% sure. Oh! And I'm going to try to plan a trip, but I dunno if I can afford it. I'll have to see. I should be able to once I find a job (going job hunting tomorrow. Woot!!), but I need to make sure before I commit to it, ya know?
*yawns* Here we go again.... *sighs* I'm gonna go do a puzzle which is supposidly really hard to do. I'll be back later. Or not. Haven't decided yet.
Peace!
You Know You're Cuban If....23:18 Feb 01 2008
Times Read: 812
You Know You are Cuban If......
1) IF for a BBQ at the park or beach, you bring tamales, gigantic ollas of Congri, Yuca y Carne de Puerco (don't forget el mojo!)
2) IF to the above outing you bring la cafetera o el thermos con el cafe.
3) IF you wear a Guayabera with shorts, nylon socks and dress shoes or strappy sandals.
4) If you call your sneakers tennis.
5) IF los viejos in your familia play dominoes, fuman tabaco and talk about how good Cuba was before Castro.
6) IF at every cumpleanos or bautizo there is an assortment of pastelitos de carne, guayaba, croqueticas and bocaditos, and they are placed en la mesa next to el cake, so they come out en la foto to your primos en Cuba.
7) IF when your Mami gets pissed she yells, "Me cago en la madre que los pario" (don't forget la chancleta!)
8) IF to describe a place that was far away you say it was "en casa del carajo"
9) IF you don't pronounce your R's - as in parque, carne, etc. but like to criticar the way other hispanos hablan.
10) IF you say "No jodas, Chico" o "Le ronca el mango", to express dismay.
11) IF the top 3 TV shows are Christina, Sabado Gigante and Walter Mercado and you watch todas las novelas.
12) IF you come out from la casa de tu mama, tia or abuela smelling like sazon, bistec empanizado, or platanitos maduros fritos (or any fried food for that matter!)
13) IF you always have Guayaba con Queso in your casa and eat it as a dessert.
14) IF you live in NY but your padres cross el
puente "Tapanes Si" (Tappan Zee) to go to "Bergenline" in "Nu Jersi" to go to la bodega and buy la carne.
15) IF you go to la cafeteria and te comes una media noche, una frita and you drink un batido de Mamey (no wonder Cuban women have big asses!)
16) IF you eat Arroz con Picadillo at least once a week
17) IF you made the arroz in the rice cooker you have sitting on your kitchen counter.
18) IF you go to Miami or Hialeah to visitar your familia every July, or to Union City to visit your familia if you live in Florida
19) IF Santa Barbara, San Lazaro or La Virgen de la Caridad are part of your living room decor, your patio or front of la casa AND your amigos Americanos think the caramelos, Apples and Bananas are snacks.
20) IF there is a BIG picture of your hermana's 15th along with everybody's foto de boda or communion en la sala.
21) IF your suegra still treats your marido o novio like their little baby boy (even though he is a 35+ year old manganzon).
22) IF in every bano there is a latica or little bucket under the sink.....(chicas we know this one!).
23) IF every New Year's you wait till las doces to eat las 12 uvas.
24) IF your bebe smells like violetas, and wears a "Dios me Bendiga" pin with an Azabache, or a cadena with medallas of all the saints.
25) IF you put a mosquitero around your baby's cuna, even though there are NO mosquitos in your casa.
26) IF when you have a dolor de barriga, your abuela makes you pure de Malangas or gives you Tilo or Manzanilla for all ailments.
27) IF you grew up thinking that if you went en la playa swimming or took a shower after una jartera you would get an "embolia" and die.
28) If you constantly refer to cereal as corn flei.
29) If you're abuela ever gone outside your house with rolos y chancletas.
30) If your mother, tia, or hermana's hair is black cherry "sun in", red, or a burgundy
The Withered LoverTake this 
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